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Thats right. Its friends only now. [10 May 2005|10:22pm]
Comment with: Name Something about yourself And something sweet:) And i'll add you back.
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stolen from fluzzy:) [09 May 2005|01:57am]

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Thats all true about me except for the cheating(never) and marriage i dont think would confine me.
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[09 May 2005|12:20am]
ok guys this journal is going to become friends only very soon. Then my journal is moving to a new name. All of you on my list will know it.
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[08 May 2005|01:59pm]
I am sooooo fucking tired of fighting for my chance to be skinny.
My mother refuses to let me take trim spa because it has shellfish in it. BIG FUCKING WHOOPDEDOO.
"I'll give you green tea" GREEN TEA DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT!.
No matter what I do I am being fought the whole damn way. She doesnt want me to be happy. She wants me to stay home and be fat so no one will want me and i'll be her little girl forever.Bullshit. I refuse to let that happen. I went grocery shopping yesterday. Bought TONS apples,and vegitables and salad,and I KNOW that alone isnt enough to make me loose weight. I know i'm honestly addicted to it. I want food and I get sooooo bitchy if I don't eat for a while.Its an addiction. I know it is.
But I cant just snap out of it. Bob at work and my manager mr green were like..you just have big bones..FUCK YOU. No i dont. I have wide hips yes but my bones are not big. I HATE hearing that. This is the stuff the fuels me to want to be bulimic. I dont even wanna leave the house today. I have to work and i'll have to deal with standing there wanting to be sick just looking at myself. God damnit.
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[07 May 2005|12:28am]
Good ole commenter without a name. Oh yay.
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[06 May 2005|01:39am]
Well in officaly in another book:)
International Society Of Poets was pubishing a book called "Who's Who Of Poetry" They take the best poets from around the globe and put them in this book..alowwing them two pages for themselves each. A bio and a dedication...here is what i put.

I'm Tanya. Born and raised in Massachusetts to my wonderful mother who has been my bestfriend.She's always been behind me 100% in all my decisons which is why she was there by my side helping me get published for the world to read.I've always loved poetry. Its always been my outlet.Whenever I needed to express my feelings i found it so much better to do it on paper in poetic form. I've always wanted to be published around the world,in hopes that I can maybe inspire people or help someone through a tough time with my storys.
I want to thank my faimly expecially my mom. I love you. This is all...my life,my poetry..dedicated to you.

Then I wrote a new poem

I've done my healing.
I've taken my time.
I let myself sadden
And i've let myself cry.
But with a simple exhale
I know that its time.
For to be me again
and to make this moment mine.
It's my turn to laugh,
And my turn to dream.
Its my turn live again,
Even my turn to be a drama queen.
I smile in knowing,
that life Is wonderfuly ok now.
And with these final words I must say,
I take my small simple bow.
I'm finally laughing again,
I'm finally free
Watch me now all of you.
I'm better,I'm stronger,I'm me.

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[05 May 2005|01:48am]
I just updated my info page..wow it shows i have no idea what the hell i am doing.
I want sign pics from everyone on my friends list ASAP!!!!! I want to put you guys in my info:)
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I am beautifullllllll no matter what they say! [05 May 2005|12:14am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Well today was the first time I got to go grocery shopping with my own damn cart and buy what I want. For 18.50 (which is all i had) I got.

6 Organic Apples.
2 Artachokes(damn things are two bucks each)
1 large bag of mixed salad greens.
1 small bottle of low fat italian dressing(its actually good.lol)
1 bag of touch of lime corn chips.
2 Bottles of water.
1 Bottle of coke.(I need the spoil.lol)

Pretty dang good and it should last me a while.
Plus I like it. And I also went to go pick up that book i orderd.
"Sing Like The Stars" by Roger Love.
Its an amazing book. He's a voice coach who just wrote this new book. He's trained people from Christina,to Chicago,The Beach Boys,Match box 20.
He teaches you how to sing and promises you that you'll sing 100 times better then you ever did before. I was a bit hard to please at first about it. I didnt think it was true but after a few warm ups,the right way to breath,posture and everything else there is to know I can tell there is a differnce. I am soooooo looking foward to this.

So between the diet,and my singing,I'll finally be on my way to being who I know I am and should have been all along.

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[04 May 2005|05:38pm]
what i ate today.

1 apple for breakfast.
1 cup of salad for lunch.
half an apple for a snack and for tonight..dun dun dun...an artachoke.
I am gona be a bitch during the first few weeks of this diet.lol

In other news. My hair is even blonder now.lol Believe it or not.
I'm playing with glitter and lip gloss like its my long lost friend.
I bought a book for singing lessons :) gona go pick that up today.
I love the summer
Thee end:)
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[30 Apr 2005|11:30pm]


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stolen from windsor. Sadly..its allll true [30 Apr 2005|08:43pm]

You Know You're From Cape Cod When...

You know where Truro is

You refer to most of the world as "off Cape."

Stuff that is open until ten is "late" and staying out until eleven is a "late night out."

You get pulled over driving on Rt 6 in Eastham at least once a week.

You know where the Cape Cod Tunnel is.

You have to drive NORTHWEST to get to Boston.

You can see a lighthouse's light from your house at night.

You've gotten busted for drinking on the Outer Beach.

You think Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket are overrated.

You hate tourists with a passion.

You understand the difference between "Upper Cape" and "Lower Cape."

You know 4 C's is really 13th grade.

You've seen a Cape League game at least 50 times.

Despite living in New England, your school never used more than 3 snow days...EVER.

You work more than 40 hours a week in the summer...when you're 14.

You can watch the sunrise and sunset on the water in the course of 24 hours.

Your parents own a small business.

You've helped unstrand either dolphins or whales.

You think the most exciting things in life are over "the bridge."

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Cape Cod.

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[30 Apr 2005|12:21am]
I think starting tomorrow,things need to change.I found a snapple with only 10 calories! And it tastes great so I can add that to my good things to live on.
Tomorrow i need to cash my check and do some shopping. And seriously live on some tea and salads and good things. I cant live like this anymore..and i'm going to need everyones support:)
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[27 Apr 2005|11:37pm]
I think i am going to live on tea till i can find a good diet and a car and a gym membership.lol
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[27 Apr 2005|07:43pm]

Picture time....Tanya felt like being a whore again:)

Realll love...i'm searchin for a real loveCollapse )

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[27 Apr 2005|05:06pm]
oh my god..ive become...oh god...thats just wrong.

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

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LOL! [27 Apr 2005|05:04pm]

Tanya Alexandra Stephens's Aliases

Your movie star name: Doritos Walter

Your fashion designer name is Tanya Paris

Your socialite name is Peaches Vegas

Your fly girl / guy name is T Ste

Your detective name is Horse Christian Liberty Academy

Your barfly name is Apple Margarita

Your soap opera name is Alexandra School

Your rock star name is Take 5 Train

Your star wars name is Tanluc Stejas

Your punk rock band name is The Sad Toothbrush

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[27 Apr 2005|04:57pm]
I seriously debating using trimspa x 32
I can't live feeling like this anymore.
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[26 Apr 2005|01:44pm]
I cant fucking do this anymore. Everywhere I turn I have these bills that arnt mine to pay!!! I CANT LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS! I fucking paid 20 bucks for a ten doller pizza lastnight. I had two fucking slices and when i come back the whole pizza is gone! She ate it. Um yeah NO!!!! And then my grandmother comes in first this this morning. Give me the money ..give me the money. WHAT FUCKING MONEY?!?!? I JUST GAVE YOU 40!!! for my 30 doller cable bill. "Oh now you owe for a phone bill...you called mark that whole time you were breaking up" FIRST OF ALL IT ISNT A 40 doller bill! second of all I am not paying a fucking bill from now on untill i see the ACTUAL bill. I am not trusting your dumb asses anymore. IT ISNT GONA HAPPEN.
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[26 Apr 2005|01:48am]
I'm tired. My hair hurts. Thats sad. Thats how tired i am:)
The end
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[23 Apr 2005|08:34pm]
I got 4 guys numbers today. I dunno i hit the jackpot tonight. Maybe it was the teeshirt i had on. "B is for Blonde" Maybe its the blonde..who the hell knows..or where it was placed on the shirt..rofl. ANyways i am not interested in any of them which sucks but still it was a nice feeling to get asked so many times. Then two other guys flirted with me and told me how cute i was and how i could be a model. I dunno wtf i did but i gota do it again
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